What If
by Shiruko
Summary: What if the characters of FateStay night are put into difficult yet funny situations?Total Chaos!
1. Chapter 1

What if...the fate/stay night characters are put in funny and weird situations?  
Total Chaos!

Chapter 1:Illya is who?!

Disclaimer:Fate/Stay night and its characters do not belong to me.

* * *

Time:Before Miss Fujimura and Sakura met Illya.(Morning) 

Place:Dining Hall of Emiya Residence

"Good Morning,Saber!" greeted Miss Fujimura and Sakura.

"Good Morning!" Saber replied.

Just then,Rin walked in and greeted them.By then,Sakura had finished setting the table with cutlery and food.Soon,Illya walked in with Shirou.Illya was sitting in between Shirou and Saber.Illya started eating without even saying anything and both visitors were still wondering who she was.

"Illya!Where are your manners?" Saber asked angrily.

"I'm sorry!Thank you for the food!" thanked Illya with her hands placed together.

While eating,Illya got a stain on her cheek and Shirou cleaned it off with a tissue.Miss Fujimura felt like both Shirou and Saber were hiding something about Illya and started to get suspicious about her.

"Rin,who is that girl over there?" whispered Miss Fujimura suspiciously.

"Oh that's Illya.Don't worry,she won't harm Shirou," assured Rin.

After breakfast,Shirou,Saber and Illya were washing all the bowls and plates they used.They seemed to be having alot of fun with the bubbles,especially Illya.Miss Fujimura and Sakura were about to step in and wash up but they saw what looked like a happy family.Miss Fujimura could not hold in her suspiciousness and started stomping in the kitchen.

"SHIROU!Who exactly is Illya and why are you and Saber so friendly with her?She isn't you and Saber's love child is she?If she isn't,then she shouldn't be living here!" questioned Miss Fujimura.

Sakura heard that and fainted.Shirou and Saber were too stunned for words to see Miss Fujimura looking jealous and suspicious over Illya but Illya answered for them.

"For your information,Shirou and Saber like me so you have no right to kick me out of the house!"Illya answered smugly.

"So she is your child!"Miss Fujimura accused.

"Wait!I can explain-"Shirou tried to explain but Miss Fujimura still insisted on accusing Illya as their child.

"What's going on?"asked Rin."Oh!I almost forgot to fully introduce Illya to both of you!Illya's my cousin and she had to come to Japan to study!lied Rin.

"Oh,sorry Shirou and you too Saber of accusing Illya's your love child!"Miss Fujimura apologized.

"You thought Illya was Shirou and Saber's love child?!"Rin asked and burst into fits of laughter.

Shirou and Saber were both blushing and looking away from each other.Sakura started to regain consciousness and apologized for fainting.

* * *

End of Chapter 1. 

If you got any request for a situation,please feel free to ask!Please review or add a request!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer:I do not own fate/stay night or it's characters.

Chapter 2:What if Gilgamesh turned into a ...

Shiruko:Gilgamesh!NEKOMAHOU!There!

Gilgamesh:Mew!

Shiruko:For this chapter,you'll be a kitten!

Gilgamesh:MEOW!!!(Shows Claws)

Shiruko:I got somewhere to be!Byeee!(Runs off!)

Gilgamesh:Meow meow meow meow!(You'll pay for this!)magically lands into an alley

Note:Saber is currently studying in Shirou's school.

* * *

Time: 4p.m. when Saber leaves school.(Raining) 

"Oh no,it's raining!"Saber got out her umbrella and walked out of the school."Shirou's going to be worried!"

Halfway while walking home,Saber heard a soft mewing sound from a dark alley.Gilgamesh mewed as he looked around in the pitch black alley.Saber walked into the alley and felt something furry bumped into her.She bent down and picked the furry thing up.

"You poor thing!"Saber pitied the drenched golden kitten(Gilgamesh)and decided to bring it home.

When she reached home,Shirou greeted her with a hug.

"I was so worried!Next time,please tell me if you're going to be late!"said Shirou.

Saber blushed while the golden kitten started clawing Shirou.

"Ow!Saber!You brought a kitten home?!"Shirou asked,surprised.

"It was alone in an alley and it was raining!It looked so helpless so I brought it back!"Saber said as she calmed the kitten down."May I keep it as a pet please?"Saber's eyes gleamed and sparkled.

She really looks like she wants to keep it,plus she'll probably be happier with a kitten as a pet,thought Shirou."...Alright,"Shirou answered.

"Thank you!"thanked Saber as she stroked the kitten."I'll name you,Shiko."

"Mew!"the kitten agreed but was discontented with the similarity of Shirou's name.

Time:5p.m. Saber does her homework.

"How do I do this?"wondered Saber as she looked at the question.

She picked up Shiko(Gilgamesh) and her homework and walked to Shirou's room.

"Shirou, could you help me with my homework?"asked Saber.

"Of course!"Shirou replied.

Shirou taught Saber her homework while Shiko(Gilgamesh) glared at Shirou angrily.Finished,Saber left Shirou's room with her things and decided to have a bath.She brought Shiko(Gilgamesh) with her to bathe and suddenly,Shirou walked in on her and blushed and apologized.Shiko ran out of Saber's arms and started clawing Shirou.

"Shiko!Why do you always scratch Shirou?"Saber asked,angry.

Shirou,hurt by Shiko's(Gilgamesh) caws,decided to delay his bath.

Time:7p.m. Dinner (after Shirou and Saber each had a bath)

"Saber,is that a kitten you have there?It's so cute!"Illya squealed in delight.

Rin stared suspiciously at Shiko and started to wonder.On the other hand,Shirou,his hand bandaged,and Archer,started eating.

"Saber,may i see that kitten?"Rin asked.

"Here you go!"Saber passed Shiko to Rin.

Rin looked at the kitten and started to cast a spell.

"Nekojinnomahou!"said Rin and Shiko,changed back into Gilgamesh.

"Shirou..."Saber mumbled as she blushed and clung onto Shirou's arm.

"Oh I see,"Rin figured out what happened and ordered Archer to get rid of Gilgamesh.

Rin gave a special jewel to Archer and he aimed and threw it at Gilgamesh.That jewel,turned Gilgamesh into a young boy,about five or six years old.Gilgamesh was defenceless and got beaten up by Archer.

* * *

End of Chapter 2. 

Shiruko:Now you are back to normal,aren't you happy?

Gilgamesh:Shut up!

Shiruko hits Gilgamesh and Gilgamesh can't hit back because of his small size.

Shiruko:I'll probably do one on Archer next!Byeee!


	3. Archer and Rin

Disclaimer:Fate/Stay Night and its characters do not belong to me.

Chapter 3:What if Archer and Rin ...

Note:All servants remain in the real world for the story.

* * *

Time:9 a.m. after breakfast (Valentines Day) 

Place:Shirou's House

"Saber,what day is it?"Archer asked.

"Friday,Valentines Day,"Saber replied.

"Valentines day?What is that supposed to mean?"Archer asked.

"Shirou told me it is a day where boys give gifts to girls and take them out on dates!"Saber replied.

"Saber,are you ready?"Shirou asked eagerly as he stepped into the kitchen."Oh hi Archer.Where's Rin?I thought you were taking her out on a date since it's Valentines Day."

"I am supposed to take Rin out on a date?"Archer asked,surprised.

"You and Rin do get along really well so I suggest you take her out on one!"Saber suggested as she followed Shirou out of the house leaving a clueless Archer behind.

Archer pondered for awhile and after thinking,he decided to take Rin on a date.He walked to Rin's room and open the door without warning.He saw Rin changing and got hit by Rin's Gand(the spell which a black orb comes out from the finger).Soon,Rin finished changing and went out of her room.

"Why did you come into my room without permission?"Rin demanded.

"Well,I would like to ask you if you would like to come on a date with me,"Archer answered.

"In that case,I guess I can forgive you,"Rin forgave Archer for coming into her room and agreed to go on a date with him.

Time:11a.m Date time!

Archer changed into a red and black short sleeved t-shirt and black jeans while Rin was dressed in a red sleeveless top with a black mini-skirt.Archer took Rin to the amusement park for their date,not knowing Shirou,Saber,Illya,Sakura,Miss Fujimura,Caster and Mr Kuzuki were there too!Rin wanted to go on the ferris wheel so Archer took her there.Unfortunately,they met Sakura and Miss Fujimura on the way.

"Rin,is this your boyfriend?"Miss Fujimura asked.

"I guess you can call him that,"answered Rin.

"That means Sakura and I are the only ones who don't have a date for Valentines Day,"Miss Fujimura complained."Shirou!You're here too? Best of all,you're dateless!"

"Hi Sakura!Hi Miss Fujimura!Rin and Archer too?"Shirou greeted them while carrying two sticks of cotton candy.

"Shirou,you're so thoughtful,buying me a stick of cotton candy!"praised Miss Fujimura as she tried to bite one of the sticks of cotton candy.

"That's not for you!"Shirou snatched the stick of cotton candy back."It's for Saber!"

"Shirou,that means you're out on a date with Saber!"said Sakura as her eyes started to build up tears.

"Saber's waiting for me so I'd better be going,"Shirou said walking back to Saber.

"Let's go,Archer!"Rin grabbed Archer's hand and walked towards the ferris wheel.

When they got into a capsule,Miss Fujimura and Sakura dashed in with them.Rin gave a disappointed look and stared outside the window as the ride started.

"Rin,what's wrong?"Archer asked,concerned.

"There are unwanted people with us,"Rin sulked as she continued to stare outside the window.

Time:2p.m.Lunch

After the ride,Archer took Rin for lunch at a restaurant in the amusement park.When the food was served,Archer picked up a spoon and started feeding Rin.Rin felt embarrassed and started blushing.

"That's so cute!"a familiar voice shouted.

Rin and Archer turned around and saw Caster staring at them.

Rin thought,"If Caster is here,that means Mr Kuzuki is here too!"

"I'm back!"Mr Kuzuki said to Caster."If it isn't Rin and her boyfriend,Archer.How's your date,Miss Tosaka?"

"It's going very well!"Rin lied."Well, we're done!Bye!"Rin grabbed Archer's hand and left the restaurant.

"Would you like to leave the amusement park,Rin?"Archer asked looking at an angry Rin.

"Yes!Let's go shopping instead!"Rin suggested.

Time:4p.m. at a shopping mall.

Rin tried on many clothes and got Archer to buy them for her.As she walked on to the next store,Archer,who was carrying dozens of shopping bags,tried to keep up with her.

"It's great to go shopping when you have someone to carry your bags with you!"Rin commented."Shall we go home now?"

"Yes!That's a great idea!"agreed Archer.

Time:6p.m. at Shirou's house.

"Archer,could you go cook dinner?I'm starving!"Rin lamented.

"Sure!"Archer wore an apron and started cooking.

When he was done,he started feeding Rin like at the restaurant.He was going to feed Rin another scoop when he lost his balance and fell on top of Rin.Suddenly,Shirou,Saber,Illya,Sakura and Miss Fujimura walked in the dining room and stared wide-eyed at the both of them.

"Don't stop what you're doing on my account.After all,this is a public place!"Shirou teased.

"Rin,you and Archer look really cute as a couple!"Illya teased.

"Wow Rin,I didn't know you and Archer went that far."Saber teased.

"Archer,get off of Rin!"Miss Fujimura shouted.

Archer got off of Rin and avoided eye contact with her and blushed.Rin also avoided eye contact with Archer and blushed too.

* * *

End of Chapter 3. 

Hope you like the special Archer and Rin date!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer:Fate/Stay Night and its characters do not belong to me.

Chapter 4:What if Saber...

* * *

Time:Morning 9a.m. 

Place:Shirou's House.

"Shirou,I'm cough cough fine!Don't worry,I can take care of myself,so there's no need for you to skip school to look after me!"Saber assured.

"Rin and Illya have already left the house and they won't be coming back till dark!Besides,I already told Rin to tell Miss Fujimura why I'm not at school,so I'm going to look after you!"explained Shirou.

Saber blushed while Shirou put a cold wet towel on her forehead.Slowly,Saber dozed off and Shirou went into the kitchen to get some medicine for her.

Place:The classroom of a school.

"Rin,where are Shirou and Saber today?"asked Miss Fujimura,suspiciously.

"Oh,Saber's sick and Shirou's staying at home to look after her!"answered Rin.

"What?!They're both alone at home?!What if they did that?!"asked Miss Fujimura.

"I doubt Shirou would do that to Saber,"assured Rin.

"I got an idea!Class,why don't we go visit Saber at Shirou's house after school?'suggested Miss Fujimura.

"Saber's sick?Shirou's House?Let's go!"agreed the class.

Time:1 p.m.

Place:Shirou's House(Saber's room)

Saber's eyes fluttered as she started to wake up.Seeing that Shirou was not around,she started to call for him.

"Shirou,where are you?"called Saber."Don't tell me you went out,"Saber soon felt a burning pain in her chest as she started to cry.

"Hey Saber,lunch is served!"Shirou announced as he placed the tray of food on the floor."Saber!What's wrong?"

"My...chest,it hurts so much!"Saber replied in pain.

Shirou quickly embraced Saber and gave her some medicine.Soon,the pain subsided and both Shirou and Saber fell asleep.Both of them were sleeping on a futon(big enough for them)and they were in the position of hugging each other.

Time:4 p.m. (When the class arrives at Shirou's house)

"Shirou!Saber!I'm back with a few visitors!"Rin shouted.

A few seconds passed and there was no reply.Rin decided to just lead the class to where Saber was instead of waiting for Shirou.

"Hey Saber,Miss Fujimura insisted that we-"Rin saw the two lovebirds and decided not to wake them up.

"Shirou!Get up!Why are you sleeping with Saber?!"Miss Fujimura demanded.

"Shirou,what are you doing?"Sakura asked as she was starting to cry.

Unfortunately,the romantic atmosphere was spoiled by Miss Fujimura and Sakura.Shirou immediately woke up and tried to explain to Miss Fujimura while Saber slowly woke up and saw the many guys showering her with flowers,stuffed toys and their 'Hope you get well soon!'cards.Rin smacked her forehead with her hand as she watched the two lovebirds having their time together interrupted by the class.

* * *

End of 4 th Chapter. 

Hope you enjoyed the story!If you want,please write a review and maybe a suggestion for a ' What if ' but I might not write it.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer:I do not own Fate/Stay Night or its characters.

Note:"_Thoughts are written like this."_

Shiruko:Rin,could you make me a love potion?

Rin:Why?

Shiruko:...A-as a present,my friend wants it and I don't know how to make it!(shows big,sparkly,teary eyes)

Rin:...Ok.I'll give it to you later.

Shiruko:Thank you!Runs off

Chapter 5:What if Shirou drank a...

* * *

Time:10a.m 

Place:Shirou's kitchen

"Ah!It's finally done!"Rin exclaimed as she finished making a potion.

She poured the potion from the pot into a glass which now looked like a glass of lemonade.Then,Saber stepped into the kitchen.She took the glass and was almost going to drink it!

"Saber!Stop!"Rin managed to her from drinking it at the last second."That's a love potion that you're holding!"

"Thank you for stopping me.I thought it was lemonade!What does it do anyway?"asked Saber.

"After you drink it,the first few people,who are the opposite gender and are not in love with you,that see you,immediately falls in love with you.It only lasts for about a day,"Rin explained.

"Is there a way to break the spell?"Saber asked.

"Sure!You have to get the person,who originally is in love with you and you love that person too,to kiss you but the love potion causes the person who loves you to hate you,so it's kind of hard,"replied Rin.

"Who is it for?"asked Saber,worried.

"For a friend.Don't worry!It's not like I'm going to make Shirou drink it!"Rin answered.

Saber blushed and then gave a sigh of relief.Soon,they walked out of the kitchen and Shirou walked in panting.

_"Saber must've known I went out jogging.She must've asked Rin to teach her how to make lemonade.Now,let's see if its tasty,"_thought Shirou.

Shirou picked up the love potion and and Miss Fujimura walked into the kitchen and was looking at Shirou.

"Shirou you look so handsome today!"they all said in unison with the romantic atmosphere.

_"What the?!"_thought Shirou,deciding to run away.

Shirou ran out of the kitchen and bumped into Rin.

"Hey!Why are you running?"Rin asked.

"Sakura,Illya and Miss Fujimura are chasing me!"Shirou said as got up and continued to run.

_"Oh no!Did he maybe..."_thought Rin as she saw Illya,Sakura and Miss Fujimura chasing Shirou shouting "I love you!"."_He did drink it!Now I have to make another one!"_

As Shirou continued running,he banged into Saber.Saber(as you know now hates him)scolded him for dashing in the house and demanded an apology.

"I'm really sorry!"Shirou shouted as he dashed through the corridors._"What's with Saber?Something's wrong with her I'd better ask Rin,"thought Shirou._"Rin!I need your help!"

"What is it now?"said Rin,angrily as she walked out of the kitchen to find Shirou.

After,searching for a long time,Rin found Shirou.Shirou explained the whole situation and asked what was going on.

"You drank a love potion that made Illya,Sakura and Miss Fujimura fall in love with you and made Saber hate you!It will only last for a day,so don't worry!"assured Rin.

"Is there a way to break the spell?"asked Shirou catching his breath.

"You have to kiss Saber,but it'll be hard since she hates you right now,"answered Rin.

"Could you help me?"Shirou asked.

"...Fine,I thought of a plan already so just leave it to me!"agreed Rin.

Time:12p.m.

Place:Outside Saber's room.

"Saber!Lunch is ready!"Rin called.

"I'm coming!"Saber shouted as she left the room.

Shirou grabbed her and Rin tied her up.Illya,Sakura and Miss Fujimura were still affected by the effects of the potion and were running towards them.Saber struggled as Shirou leaned forward and gave her a kiss that lasted quite long.(Rin lied to him that a kiss lasting about 5 minutes was needed)

"Shirou,what are you doing to Saber?!"questioned Miss Fujimura.

"Shirou...how could you do such a thing to Saber?!"Sakura shouted.

"If Saber gets a kiss then so do I!"Illya shouted.

Saber got Shirou off of her and Rin untied the ropes.

"Why was I tied up?"Saber asked.

"Because Shirou wanted to play with you!"Rin lied as Saber blushed.

"What?!I never said I wanted to...It was all because you made that potion,"Shirou accused.

"And who was the one that drank it?"Rin asked.

Shirou was speechless while Saber remained silent as the rest were quarreling.

* * *

Rin:Here you go! 

Shiruko:Thanks Rin!(Wrapping the bottle of love potion)

Rin:Hope your friend likes it!(Walking home)

Shiruko:Thanks again!(throws the potion into the bin)

Rin:Hey!I saw that!

Shiruko:Oops!I need to go!Byeeee(runs off)

* * *

Hope you enjoyed the story! 

Thank you Alucard180 for giving the idea of a love potion!

If you like,write a review and maybe a suggestion!


	6. Christmas,Last Chapter

Disclaimer:I do not own Fate/Stay Night or any of its characters.

Place:In Rin's room

Shiruko:Rin,can you teach me how to cast a 'switching body spell'?(shows sparkly eyes)

Rin:...No!

Shiruko:The guests haven't arrived yet so its ok!

Rin:But who are you going to cast that spell on?We need people to practice on the spell!

Shiruko:(Studying a spell book)I'll take this!Bye!(runs off to somewhere)

Rin:That irritating Shiruko...

Chapter 6:What if Rider and Sakura switched bodies?

* * *

Time:4p.m. 

Place:Shirou's house (Before the party)

"Shirou!Saber!We're here!"Sakura,along with Rider,shouted.

Shirou was hosting a Christmas Party at his house and most of his class mates from school were invited.Saber and Illya were dressed in female version 'Santa' outfits(a red dress with fur collars) and were helping to prepare the food.

"Hi Sakura!Hi Rider!"Illya greeted with an eager smile.

"Shirou,who's that girl reading a book over there?"Sakura asked.

"That girl's Shiruko.She's Rin's friend,"Shirou explained.

"Done!Rin,I'm going to your room,if you don't mind,"announced Shiruko.

"Do what you want,"Rin answered.

Shiruko walked out of the room hoping that Rin,Saber,Illya and Shirou would leave her two victims alone.Soon enough,she got what she wanted.She said some words of a foreign language and casted a spell which switched Sakura's and Rider's body.The smoke that appeared near Sakura and Rider cleared and they both had their bodies switched!

Time:5p.m

Place:Shirou's house(Let the Party Begin!)

Soon,friends of Shirou arrived at his house and started mingling with each other.On the other hand,Sakura and Rider were looking for a way to return to normal.

"I'm going to look for Rin!"Rider said walking off in Sakura's body.

"Wait!Oh no!I'm in Rider's body!What am I going to do?"Sakura asked herself in Rider's body.

"You're looking lonely there.Why don't I keep you company?"asked a guy,obviously hitting on Sakura.

_"Oh no,what do I do?"_thought Sakura.

Saber was checking up on the guests and saw Rider(Sakura in her body) with a guy.Sakura tried to get Saber to help her get rid of the guy but ended up giving her the wrong idea.Saber just waved back and walked away thinking that Rider wanted time alone with that guy.

With Rider...

_"Where is that Rin?"_thought Rider.

"Sakura!Could you help me with the icing please?I'm really busy!Thanks!"Shirou passed the cake to Sakura(Rider in her body).

_"I guess I'll just have to 'ice' the cake"_ thought Rider as she took out some ice from the fridge.

She then placed the ice on the cake and left it in the kitchen.Then,she returned to looking for Rin.

Back with Sakura...

"How about we kiss under the mistletoe?"suggested the guy beginning to sound like a creep.

"I don't think-"Suddenly,the spell wore off and Sakura returned to her own body and Rider was almost kissed by the guy but she punched him and saved herself.

"Rider!How could you punch that guy?"Illya asked."Saber said you two were getting along fine!You just spoiled that moment!"

Rider didn't understand what Illya was talking about and went to find Sakura.When Shirou saw the cake,he was very disappointed with Sakura.

Time:1a.m

Place:Shirou's house(After the Party)

"That was so tiring!"complained Illya as they finished cleaning up after the party.

"You know,Sakura and Rider weren't quite themselves today,"Shirou commented.

"Really?What happened?"asked Rin as she was with Archer the whole time.

"I asked Sakura to help me with the icing of the cake and she put ice cubes there instead!"Shirou explained.

Rin laughed so hard she had tears in her eyes.

"And Rider punched a guy who she had gotten along so well with.She just had to punch him at THAT moment or else it would've been a very interesting scene!"Illya added.

Rin laughed until she was crying!

"Rin,are you feeling alright?"Saber asked.

"Yes,it's just that I can't believe they would do that!It's like they've switched bodies!"Rin replied."Archer,follow me!"

"I wonder where they're going,"said Shirou.

"They probably want time alone to just be themselves,"said Illya.

* * *

Rin:You're the one who started this right? 

Shiruko:What are you talking about?I left before the party started!(starts to cry)If you want the book back,here!

Rin:(catches the book)

Archer:Don't be so mean to her.I don't think she's done anything wrong.

Rin:Now you're on her side?!

Archer:N-no

Suddenly,Shiruko pushes those two together and they kissed!Shiruko immediately dashes off as soon as she'd done that.The two of them continued kissing and then returned to Shirou's house as if nothing happened!

* * *

Hope you like my Christmas Chapter! 

Thanks to Tribunal for the idea of switching bodies.

Author's note:This is the last chapter so bye!


End file.
